PKM

Please Kill Me, mostly referred to as PKM, is a teddy bear that has been magically brought to life. He loathes his existence and frequently attempts to kill himself.

Through unrevealed circumstances, PKM found himself at the North Pole next to Cherry, as Dick and Johnson were attempting to stop their nemeses from sabotaging Christmas and destroying Santa's workshop. Seizing the opportunity of hopefully dying in battle, PKM threw himself in the way of an attack by Doctor Isis. Though he was stabbed by Doctor Isis' scalpels, he remained unharmed. He then attempted to fling himself into the fire caused by the detonation of Doctor Isis' explosives, jumped into the Arctic waters, tried to impale himself on the tusks of narwhals that are summoned to temporarily hold up the ice of the North Pole, and asked Cherry to cast an Avada Kedavra spell on him; all of these suicide attempts were either stopped by Dick or had no effect on PKM's vital functions.

As he endured continuous physical pain from his failed suicide attempts, PKM quickly began exhibiting masochistic tendencies, showing what appeared to be sexual pleasure from being harmed. After the completion of their mission, Dick and Johnson invited PKM and Cherry into their home to celebrate Christmas together and as he had experienced friendship, PKM proclaimed that he had found a purpose for his existence: to bring, as he saw it, the sweet and peaceful release of death to everyone, before ending his own life.

For PKM, experiencing life and emotions are painful compared to his non-sentient existence he had before the event that brought him to life. He therefore sees death as ultimate release from this agonizing experience and as a great boon. While at first he only wished to end his own life, after building a friendly relationship with Dick and Johnson and Cherry, he made up his mind to "share" the gift of death with as many people as possible.

Nothing is known of PKM's life before his encounter with Dick and Johnson, except for the fact that he has, at some point, attended a college, and has starred in the Seth McFarland movie Ted.