Hamilton McFuzzyface

Hamilton McFuzzyface is a drug dealer and occasional crime solver who is frequently mistaken for an undercover cop because of his awkward way of talking about drugs. He was born as a hamster but got turned into a human by a witch.

Dick and Johnson are introduced to McFuzzyface through the Chief, who brings him as an insider to the drug dealing world to aid the two and their neighbor Nicole in their mission to stop Christofuhrer Walken from selling Nazi dinosaur DNA based drugs. McFuzzyface is first able to "help" by giving the entire team a sample of all the drugs (the names of which he appears to mostly be making up on the spot). During combat, McFuzzyface utilizes the agility and ferocity of his hamster roots, as well as the ability to pull equipment of immense sizes and quantity from his cheek pouches.

McFuzzyface is about 6 ' 2'', has a patchy brown beard, wears a long trench coat filled with bags of cocaine, and has what looks like a cigarette, but is actually a piece of soft wood he chews on to calm down. He uses his enormous cheek pockets to store any kind of equipment such as his drugs, weapons, or food.

McFuzzyface was born in a cave as a hamster and spend most of his childhood running in a wheel. He mistrusts women because the first woman he met, his hamster mother, tried to eat him. At some point, he was turned into a human by a witch for unknown reasons. He meets the witch again after his mission with Dick and Johnson, while traveling to California to help retrieve the imprisoned Dick. He punches her in the face for having turned him into a human against his will, although he also admits to, at least in some ways, living a better and fuller life now because of it.

After helping to successfully take down Christofuhrer Walken and Time Traveling Mark Twain's drug business, McFuzzyface gets officially pardoned for his crimes. The police would also offer him a job, but fail to do so, as they believe him to already be working for them undercover, and he goes back selling drugs and occasionally solving crime.